My biggest event of the year was one week ago. It was Hautebox’ second year producing Babes + Beats on the Shore and it was 3 times as big as last year’s event (watch the video here)! We were in awe with how everything came together and although it was an immense amount of work, it was so rewarding to see all of these incredible women gather and allow us to share our vision.
I took the mic during the savasana of the first movement set and shared some words; words that were on my heart and feeling more true than ever. They were words that I had heard on a podcast just the day before, and they struck me deeply: We cannot be brave when we are tired.
I said these words, paused, then spoke them again to make sure this very simple notion had a chance to resonate with the 100-ish women lying in rest in front of me.
We are tired because we are constantly caring for the needs of our children, our partner, our business, our friends. We feel we have to prove our worth by incessantly ‘doing’ and therefore always being needed. We feel guilt if for one split second we allow ourselves to rest and actually enjoy the incredibly beautiful world around us, and yet that is what we have worked so tirelessly to create! We become slaves to what we should be doing or just simply trying to keep pace with a world going 500,000 mph around us and feel like if we aren’t hustling we’ll get left behind. I fall victim to this all the time. And don’t get me wrong, I love the hustle and I admire the trait in others. But it can’t be all hustle, all the time. There must be rest with the hustle and that’s the part we so easily loose sight of because it often feels weak, indulgent or even like giving up.
I’ve been reading a book recommended to me by the Waldorf School (which Aspen will be starting in the Fall - hooray!) called Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne which has a premise that today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. That all of the hustle and social and physical clutter robs our children of the space they need to learn who they are and develop without anxiety. And I couldn’t help but think how applicable this message was for all humans, not just children!
We are always talking about Mindfulness and the power of being Present, but I have to say that I find these practices next to impossible when I have run myself to the point of utter exhaustion. Which then begs the question, why would I do this to myself??
Yes, having young children is exhausting as sleep is harder to come by and segmented when you can get it. But when my kids go down for a nap or I have nanny help, I spring into action to “get things done” even when I’ve run myself ragged to the point of being ill. Why? Why do I do this?! Is it because I associate my value with my accomplishments? Is it because when I am busy I feel important? Or maybe it’s because my Instagram feed is populated with so many super-moms that I feel like if I’m not hustling then I will fall behind. Yes, yes and yes. I think it’s all of those things. Brutal.
I have this anecdotal story I’ve made up in my mind that helps keep me stay grounded on this subject. I believe that perception is reality. Perception is such a strong force, but it can also be the reason we believe untrue things about ourselves. Sometimes I consider how devastating it would be if either of my sons perceived that because I work so much, my phone or computer are more important to me than them - or that they perceive they are any less loved and adored than they truly are. Similarly, scenarios have played out ion our lives that have caused us to perceive the source our value comes from (fill in the blank for you) and thus we exhaust ourselves doing those things. Yet the truth of the matter is that we are worthy and loved the whole time, with nothing to prove and only joy waiting in that realization.
I’m not the first to point out that you are tired. That the collective ‘we’ are tired. You feel the burnout lurking around the corner as much as I do. We work so tirelessly for the things and people we love. Join me in seeking rest, so that we can find joy in the little moments we are often too blurry-eyed or fuzzy-headed to see or feel. After all, isn’t that the chase?!
Our Hautebox tagline was borne out of this place:
Rest. Re-set. Amplify Your Energy.